


a fool for lesser things

by himemiyaa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cats, F/M, Gen, M/M, Real Life, Roommates, Slice of Life, this fic is entirely an excuse to write taako having a shitty cat because that's my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2019-02-19 10:53:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13122249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/himemiyaa/pseuds/himemiyaa
Summary: Taako is still getting used to having a cat.It has, admittedly, been six months.---a community college slice-of-life au where taako and kravitz are roommates and garyl is their pet cat.





	1. Chapter 1

Taako is still getting used to having a cat.

It has, admittedly, been six months. He and Lup found the cat in an alley on their way home one day, shivering in the rain like they were on some sitcom. He was Lup’s cat, even if Taako named him. But then Lup decided to move in with her boyfriend, whose apartment doesn’t allow pets. Taako is still often confused as to why that meant the cat became _his_ responsibility, but only for as long as it takes for him to complain about it and receive a smack on the arm from his sister. Right. She’s a bleeding heart who got attached and wouldn’t let Taako take him to the fantasy ASPCA.

He’s currently bemoaning his fate because a glance at his clock tells him it’s 4AM and the glass of water that’s just landed in his bed tells him that about 20 pounds of cat has just leapt onto the nightstand and made room for himself. “Damn you, Garyl,” Taako mumbles, picking the glass up. He’s too lazy and half-asleep to bring it to the kitchen or clean up right now, so he just sets it on the floor next to his bed and rolls away from the wet spot. There wasn’t too much left in there, anyway. He manages to fall back asleep, which is good, because he’s got shit to do tomorrow that he’s not about to miss for this fucking cat.

* * *

His clothes are all covered in fur now. He’s supposed to be more put-together than this, he thinks as he roots through the clothes on his floor for a specific black sweater (he owns more than a few.) No one’s supposed to _know_ that he’s a mess. Now everything he owns is covered in white fur all the time. When he finds his shirt he narrows his eyes at it and its newly added fur lining, but he slips it on over his binder anyway. He needs to remember to invest in a lint roller. He slaps on some simple winged liner in his bathroom mirror and brushes out the knots that have accumulated in his thick hair overnight.

Taako wanders into his kitchen and opens his freezer, incurring a loud, deep meow from Garyl, who’s sitting on top of the fridge. “Shut the fuck up,” Taako says, pulling out a raspberry Toaster Strudel to shove into his mouth. He slides them into the toaster and leans against his counter while he waits. Garyl meows again, evidently undeterred by Taako’s scolding or his hopes and dreams. He’s got the lowest meow Taako has ever heard a cat have. Garyl hops down from the top of the fridge onto the counter next to Taako, where he rubs his head against Taako’s back and meows a third time. “What?” Taako says, turning around to stare at the cat, who stares right back with mismatched eyes.

Taako begrudgingly pets him. What he _will_ give Garyl is that after some tender loving care by way of brushing and washing him him, he’s got very soft fur. Taako can appreciate that, at least. When they found him he was dirty and hungry -- he had so much gunk on his fur that the twin spots on his forehead looked like one, and his feet were completely black. He looks considerably better now than he did then, clean and fat with a velvet bowtie collar that jingles when he walks.

The strudels pop and Taako grabs a plate to set them on, burning his fingers as he does. He spreads the icing on as artistically as possible and eats, then dumps his plate in the sink ungraciously. The noise rouses his roommate Kravitz, who steps out into the kitchen from his own room with a “Good morning, Taako” that Taako thinks is about ten times too awake sounding for this early in the morning.

“Yeah, morning,” he agrees. Kravitz moved in about a week ago. They don’t talk much, although if nothing else, Taako can respect his style. It’s farther into goth territory than Taako typically takes things -- he’s seen Kravitz wearing a literal cape -- but hey, at least it stands out. He’s not caped out today; he’s wearing black slacks and a black velvet turtleneck, his dreads pinned up into a bun. It’s an understated look, or would be, if not for the silver jewelry glittering on Kravitz’s fingers and the feather earrings dangling from his slightly pointed ears. It’s a _good_ look, Taako thinks. Kravitz is pretty hot, which has been mildly distracting so far, but Taako’s dealt with hot guys before.

“Sleep well?” Kravitz asks.

“Dipshit over here spilled a glass of water on me,” Taako says, gesturing to Garyl, who meows again. Kravitz tries not to grin and Taako narrows his eyes.

At least Kravitz has the decency to pretend he doesn’t think it’s funny, because when he’s fought the grin back he shakes his head. “I’m so sorry,” he says. Kravitz seems to like Garyl, which Taako guesses is a good thing as far as general apartment harmony goes. Taako doesn’t get it, though. He’s just not an animal person.

“Yeah, I bet,” Taako says. He moves into the living room and picks up a pair of shades from the table by the door, then slides on his shoes. So does Kravitz. The two of them make their exit from the building together.

Taako ends up behind Kravitz pulling out of the parking lot and he squints through his sunglasses to read Kravitz’s bumper stickers. One reads “My Other Car Is A Hearse,” which Taako assumes is just a token of how goth he is. Another is emblazoned with the name of a local bookstore. _Nerd alert,_ Taako thinks.

* * *

Tuesdays are always boring. He doesn’t have any classes related to his cooking major on Tuesdays, it’s all _gen eds_ and what have you. Not to mention, he delayed signing up for classes long enough that he has to _wake up early_ for an 8AM math class. It’s pretty much the cruelest torment ever inflicted on elfkind, if you ask Taako.

The only benefit to Tuesdays is that Lup and Taako always have lunch together. It’s designated twin time, which Taako gets considerably less of now that she’s living with Barry. Make no mistake, Taako likes Barry, but growing up with no one but each other to rely on makes dealing with a comparative lack of Lup in his life somewhat difficult. Taako drops his bag unceremoniously in one of the spare chairs at the table Lup’s already claimed and sinks into the seat across from her as dramatically as he possibly can.

“You will not _believe_ the day I’m having,” Taako says.

“Hello to you too.”

“Your cat spilled water on me at four in the morning.” He shoots Lup an accusing look, as if she’d planned that. Lup doesn’t have the same level of decency that Kravitz does, and immediately bursts out laughing.

“Oh, I miss that little shit. Bring him to the next session you crash.”

“A little sympathy would be nice, Lup.” He sneaks his hand across the table to steal a french fry from her plate. She slaps his hand gently, which does nothing to make him relinquish the fry. “It took me like an hour to get back to sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah. How was your math test?” she asks, resting her chin in her hand and smiling sweetly. It’s hard for him to stay irritated when she looks at him like that, which he knows she’s doing on purpose. She’s also remembering things about his life on purpose, like a _good sister_. God, he misses living with Lup.

“Fucking terrible,” he says, leaning back in his chair and looking off into the distance. “I hate math. I’m gay, Lup, I shouldn’t have to do math.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she says again, her smile broadening into a proper grin. “I know. It’s homophobic.”

“It _is_ homophobic.” Taako’s food arrives and he digs in. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was until he stole one of Lup’s fries. He guesses the strudels hadn’t cut it. He speaks with his mouth full. “So what about you. How’s your day.”

“It’s going good. Our neighbor lady brought us scones. She’s the sweetest thing. Super old.”

“What the fuck, did you seriously not bring me a scone?”

“Sorry, babe. You want a scone you gotta come visit.” She pauses. “And bring Garyl.”

Taako groans. “They’re probably not even that good,” he says.

“They’re _very_ good.”

“They probably smell weird because of your boyfriend’s fuckin’, I don’t know, whatever dead shit he keeps in your fridge.”

“He has a minifridge for that.”

“I hate you both,” he says, and Lup laughs.

* * *

He only works a few hours that evening, but the DMV is exhausting. He’s dead on his feet when he returns to the apartment, hair falling out of the sloppy bun he threw it in during work. He slams the door on his way in and heads directly for the kitchen to make more Toaster Strudels for dinner.

He has a love-hate relationship with microwaved foods. He’s going to be a _chef_ someday, isn’t he? He should do better than this. But then, it’s easy, and it’s cheap, and for as much effort as he puts into his appearance and his schoolwork, he’s a pretty lazy dude. This time they’re cream cheese. Garyl hops up onto the counter next to him.

“What do you want,” Taako says on instinct. Garyl doesn’t respond beyond walking up to Taako and rubbing against his arm, leaving fur behind on his sweater. Taako tries not to be endeared by the cat’s clear attempt at sucking up, but he does reach out and stroke Garyl behind the ears. That’s when Kravitz walks in, looking about as tired as Taako feels. Taako drops his hand immediately, not wanting to look like he gives a shit.

“Evening,” Kravitz says, dropping his keys onto the table by the door. Kravitz has a keychain shaped like a D20, which Taako recognizes only because of Barry and Lup’s Dungeons and Dragons group. Fucking nerds.

“Hey.” His strudels pop and he grabs them, burning his fingers again. He misses living with Lup. Lup never burned her fingers on toaster products. Of course, she has a freakish resistance to heat generally, so that’s not surprising. “How was your day?” he asks, although he doesn’t particularly care.

“It was fine,” Kravitz replies, moving into the kitchen himself. He opens the fridge and pulls out a thermos of soup he made yesterday. Taako hasn’t tasted it, but he’s pretty sure Kravitz just made it from a can and didn’t finish it, which is embarrassing. He makes a note to make Kravitz soup sometime, if only to show him what he’s missing the rest of time; never mind that Taako has been known to eat soup from a can because of his aforementioned laziness. “How was yours?”

“Boring,” Taako says, shrugging as he traces an elaborate lace pattern onto his strudels. Plating counts for everything. He shoves one of them into his mouth and takes a too-large bite. “You any good at math, Kravitz?” he asks with his mouth full -- not, of course, that he’s about to ask his new roommate for math help. He wouldn’t ask _anybody_ for math help except _maybe_ Lup, and that would take a lot of swallowing of pride.

“Not unless it’s in reference to time signatures.”

“Yeah, no.” Garyl tries to lick the icing off of Taako’s second strudel and he lifts the cat up to his eye level, glaring at him. “Fuck off, dude,” he grumbles, then drops Garyl on the ground. Garyl seems completely unperturbed, instead walking over to rub against Kravitz’s legs, the little traitor.

“Good evening, Garyl,” Kravitz says, apparently unconcerned about where the cat’s loyalties lie. He drinks his soup cold and straight from the thermos. Taako is horrified. He lives with the devil. He’s just not sure if it’s the cat or the half-elf roommate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako crashes his sister's dnd game and invites kravitz with him. garyl continues to be a minor nuisance. kravitz doesn't know how to talk to people.

Thursdays are annoying for the same reasons that Tuesdays are with less promise of seeing Lup. That makes them the worst day of the week. In fact, Taako is guaranteed not to see his sister on Thursday nights unless he crashes the weekly Dungeons and Dragons game she plays in. (Which admittedly she tried to get him to join, but he wasn’t ready to cross that bridge into full-blown nerd territory. He’s got an image to uphold.)

Usually he’s too lazy to do so, but he’s feeling fidgety this week, and besides, he knows they’re holding it across the hall from Taako. The group started out in Taako’s building (the Sterling Arms, named for the lords and ladies of the land who have absolutely nothing to do with this place) when Lup still lived there. She’s something of a social butterfly when she wants to be, and apparently having a class with the neighbors was cause to invite them into her boyfriend’s land of imagination or whatever the fuck. When there’s something going down in her apartment (typically Barry’s fault) that makes it unusable for the night, they rotate to one of the chucklefucks that still lives in the Arms.

Taako has made up his mind to crash the “party,” which means he needs to look his best. He does a quick touch-up on his makeup and intricately braids his hair. He swaps out his jewelry, too; halfway through the day he decided he wasn’t feeling it, but he’s only just getting the chance to change. He goes from rose gold (which is nice, some of his favorite pieces, but was too soft for the leather jacket and torn jeans he’s wearing with fishnets underneath today) to shiny black rings on his thick fingers, and after appraising himself in the mirror he’s much happier with this look. Now he just has some time to kill. He picks up Garyl, who’s been watching Taako change and offering input in the form of his weird low meows, to cart him out of his room and into the living room. He doesn’t trust the cat alone in his personal bubble like that. He nearly bumps into Kravitz, who’s coming out of his own room.

“Oh, excuse me,” Kravitz says, much more politely than Taako has ever really thought about responding to that situation. Garyl reaches for Kravitz with paws that have gone soft over the time he’s been living here.

“Yeah, whatevs,” Taako shrugs, adjusting Garyl. Kravitz reaches back for the cat and touches his fingertip to Garyl’s pawpads, which seems to placate Garyl. He yawns.

They move into the living room somewhat awkwardly when an idea strikes Taako. He dumps Garyl indelicately on the fur-covered armchair that happens to be his favorite. He flops onto the sofa. “Hey, Krav,” Taako says, and Kravitz looks caught off-guard at the nickname.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going across the hall tonight to bug some nerds and Garyl’s coming. You wanna tag along?” he asks, trying not to sound invested in the answer. Which he _isn’t,_ not really, but here’s the thing -- he hooked up with one of Barold’s nerd friends like a year ago, and said friend has since fallen in love and gotten engaged. It’s not like Taako cared about the guy at all, but there’s still a slightly bitter feeling that always comes with seeing the ring on his finger. Something along the lines of jealousy, though it’s mostly directionless. If Taako was an introspective person he might recognize it as frustration that he has no stable relationships and never has, and that he perceived this guy as being at equal levels of Disaster Gay, only to have that thought dashed by the successful completion of this important milestone. Taako isn’t especially introspective, though, so he just lets it sit bitterly in the pit of his stomach. This invitation isn’t a date, exactly, or even a request for a fake boyfriend (although the thought flits through his mind,) so much as an extra buffer. Besides, being the only one not playing is boring sometimes.

Kravitz raises an eyebrow, but he’s smiling. “That’s… a vague invitation,” he says.

“Dungeons and Dragons, my man. You in or you out?”

“Do you play?” Kravitz asks, looking a little bit excited. _Great,_ Taako thinks. _Another nerd._ Not that he didn’t already know that.

“Nah, it’s not my scene,” he says with an easy shrug. Kravitz looks almost disappointed. “Just figured I’d ask. You don’t have to come,” he says, although now that the idea has planted itself in his head he’ll _definitely_ be annoyed if Kravitz says no. It suddenly seems important. Kravitz shakes his head, which Taako begins to take as a rejection before he speaks.

“Yeah, why not? Could be fun.”

“Sick. Starts at 7, so we’ve got a minute.”

“Should we bring snacks?” Kravitz asks, glancing towards the kitchen. Taako raises an eyebrow. He guesses there is usually a snack pile, which he’s never contributed to. Taako shrugs.

“No time to make anything good,” he says, “but if you wanna run to the store and buy some chips, be my guest. Taako’s good here, though.” Kravitz laughs slightly at Taako’s use of third person.

“I’d feel bad imposing,” he says, and grabs his keys. The silver D20 keychain glints. Taako should have known he’d be into this. He’s filled with a sinking worry that his roommate will join the DND game, and then he’ll have _another_ huge nerd to deal with. Barry and Lup never shut up about this campaign. It’s _terrible._

“Have fun,” Taako says in a sing-song.

* * *

Kravitz returns reasonably quickly with one bag of cheetos and one bag of salt and vinegar kettle chips, which Taako snatches from his hand. “Good choice,” he says, opening the bag immediately before Kravitz has a chance to protest. Which he absolutely opens his mouth to do, only to close it in a funny little half-smile a moment later. Taako pulls himself up from the chair and hoists up Garyl, tucking him under one arm and the chips under the other. “Shall we?” he asks, motioning towards the door with his head. Kravitz takes that as a cue and opens the door again, offering Taako a deep, cheesy, incredibly dorky bow.

“After you,” he says, and Taako snorts out a laugh.

The apartment they’re going to is across the hall, not a far journey at all, which is why Taako hasn’t bothered with a cat carrier. He takes the few steps to get there and then slams his boot into the door. “Let me in,” he says, kicking the door a few more times before it’s opened by a bespectacled boy with a large afro and vitiligo. Kravitz looks slightly mortified when Taako looks over, which makes him grin.

“Hello, sirs!”

“Hey, Pumpkin. This is my new roommate. And you’ve met Garyl.” Taako pushes his way past Angus, leaving Kravitz to awkwardly hold out his hand.

“Uh, I’m Kravitz.”

Angus takes his hand and shakes. He has a firm handshake. “Angus McDonald! Nice to meet you, come on in.” He doesn’t appear to be the least bit bothered by Taako’s behavior, which Kravitz hopes is a good thing. He steps into the apartment and Angus closes the door.

Angus’s apartment is the same layout as Taako and Kravitz’s, just mirrored. It is, however, considerably more neat and tidy. There’s limited seating in the living room, but Angus has clearly tried to be a good host — there’s a few chairs from the tiny dining room dragged in and set around the coffee table, and bowls of popcorn already on it. “Can I get you anything to drink?” Angus asks Kravitz, who smiles awkwardly. In the excitement of getting invited out, to Dungeons and Dragons no less, Kravitz had almost forgotten how painfully awkward he can be.

“Uh, some water would be great,” he says with an awkward smile, and then joins Taako on the couch as Angus leaves for the kitchen.

“So that’s Angus,” Taako says lazily, watching Garyl hop onto the coffee table and sniff at the popcorn. “He’s a freshman, which is why he looks 11.” Kravitz chuckles awkwardly and reaches out to steer Garyl away from the food. There’s another knock at the door, which Taako springs up to answer as Angus brings out Kravitz’s water.

“Heeey,” Taako smiles saccharinely at the drow standing in the doorway, who immediately looks a little bit put out to see him.

“Hello, darling,” he says, and Taako steps aside to let him in. He doesn’t give him much room, but the drow is thin enough that it works.

“Krav, this is Magic Brian. Magic Brian, this is Kravitz. My _roommate,_ ” he says, imbuing the word with an intense level of meaning that is absolutely not present in the relationship. Before Brian or Kravitz can say anything, Lup and Barry are at the door. Lup grins when she sees Taako, wrapping him in a hug as she enters the room.

She and Taako aren’t identical, but they’re close to it; they have the same fuschia eyes and freckles dusting their noses and cheeks. Lup is maybe about two inches taller and while she’s equally broad to Taako, she clearly works out, whereas Taako… doesn’t. She also doesn’t bleach her hair to hell and back the way he does — hers is so black it’s nearly blue. “Heeey, Taako,” she grins. “You bring my cat?”

“Yeah, I brought your shitty cat,” Taako says with a roll of his eyes. “Hey, Barry.”

“Taako. How’s it going?”

“It’s going, boychik, it’s going.”

In this time Brian has seated himself on one of the dining room chairs and is looking at Kravitz with a hard to pin down expression. “Charmed, darling, I’m sure,” he says.

“Nice to meet you,” Kravitz agrees, although he can’t tell for sure if it actually is. He’s not great with people, he never has been, but it’s not hard to see there’s a weird energy between Taako and this guy, and Kravitz isn’t sure what he’s been dragged into. “Why Magic Brian?”

He laughs. “It’s a secret,” he says, and takes a handful of popcorn. Taako plops down on the couch again, slightly closer to Kravitz than he was before. It’s not so close that it’s obvious they’re a couple, but they’re close enough that someone might _wonder,_ which is exactly the space Taako wants to live in. Kravitz doesn’t know how to handle it, so instead he focuses on Lup, who has just scooped up Garyl like a baby. She grins across the coffee table at Kravitz.

“You’re the new roomie, right? Kravitz?” she asks, scratching Garyl’s chest.

“Oh, yes. You’re--”

“Lup. I’m the older twin. Don’t listen if he tells you he is.”

“She’s lying,” Taako says immediately.

“Then why am I taller, shortstack?”

“Lucretia’s on her way,” calls Angus from the kitchen. Barry sits down in one of the dining chairs and opens the denim bookbag he’s carrying, pulling out the materials he’ll need for the session. It’s overwhelming for Kravitz, who takes a long drink from his water. He hopes Lucretia is the last person involved. Lup sits on the couch next to her brother, still holding Garyl.

“So how’s the roomie situation treating you, Kravitz?” she asks, looking past Taako to speak to him. Taako narrows his eyes. “I know my dear brother here can be a little much to deal with. Oh, that’s Barry, by the way,” she says with a gesture to him. He raises his hand in a slight wave but doesn’t look up from his notes; he’s in full dungeon master mode.

“Hey, I’m a fuckin’ great roommate,” Taako interjects. Kravitz smiles awkwardly.

“It’s fine,” he says. He doesn’t know what else he _could_ say to that. “We’re still sort of adjusting, I think?”

“Yeah, yeah, _adjusting,_ whatever. I’m a great roommate.”

“You’re a great roommate,” Kravitz says with a little bit of a laugh.

“Damn right.”

There’s another knock on the door and Angus goes to get it, letting in a black girl with stark white braids down to her waist. “Sorry I’m late,” she says.

“It’s fine!” Angus chirps. Finally, Barry looks up from his notes.

“Good, we’re all here,” he says with a lopsided grin.

The game begins and Taako pays very little attention. He shifts to lean against Lup, loudly crunching on the salt and vinegar chips, which he hasn’t let anyone else touch. Incidentally, his positioning presses his legs against Kravitz, just slightly. Neither of them mention it. Kravitz seems to get deeply involved in the game despite the fact that he isn’t playing. About an hour and a half in, right after a fight, Barry stretches, his plain t-shirt rising over his pudgy belly. “Alright, break time,” he says, standing up from the chair.

“Finally,” Taako says, looking up from the stone of farspeech he’s been toying with.

“You know, you weren’t technically invited,” Lup reminds him, but she’s grinning. “You don’t have to sit through this.”

“Yeah, but Brian would miss me too much, right, MB?” he asks, tossing a look at Brian.

“You’re always a delight, Taako,” he replies. Taako can’t decide how sincere it was, so he errs on the side of it being passive aggressive.

“Obviously.” He slips his stone back into his pocket.

Kravitz extracts himself from the couch and makes his way towards the restroom with a quiet “excuse me,” and the assembled group watches him go. Lup is the first to break the silence.

“Taako, you’re in trouble.”

“What? Why am I in trouble?”

“You didn’t mention that your roommate looked like _that._ ”

Taako blinks and then laughs. “What, hot? Yeah, I guess not.” Lup raises her eyebrows at him, which prompts him to roll his eyes. “ _What?_ ”

“I think the implication is that you should ask him out,” Angus offers, and Lup gestures at him with a flourish. Taako scoffs and throws a chip at Angus, then one at Lup for good measure. He’s irritated that they’re interrogating him like this about someone he’s known for a week, particularly because it completely blows whatever air of mystery he’d been trying to create about the relationship that may or may not have existed.

Magic Brian is grinning. “You should, Taako. Your aesthetics are very complementary.”

“It’s not your business,” he says, squinting across the coffee table at Brian, who looks pleased as punch. That’s the trouble with Brian — he’s ridiculously friendly, super affable. It makes it hard for Taako to stay annoyed at him, which is a skill he typically prides himself on. The bathroom door opens, which (thank fuck) ends that conversation. Lup turns to Lucretia to ask if she’s read anything good lately, which apparently she has, and Brian stands up to go raid Angus’s kitchen and chat with Barry. Angus looks between Taako and Kravitz in a way that Taako doesn’t appreciate, but what is he gonna say about it?

Taako’s friends suck. All of his friends are just the worst. Being Taako is damn near impossible. He’s now hyper aware of how handsome Kravitz is. Granted, it’s hard to _miss_ how handsome Kravitz is, but now that everybody’s riding his ass about it, it’s worse.

When everybody’s back in the room, the game picks back up and Taako spends the rest of it lightly fuming. Garyl climbs into his lap and he’s absentmindedly stroking the cat and then he’s dozing off a little bit because Garyl purring does that to him, and also because Dungeons and Dragons is _boring._ When he wakes up it’s because Lup is shaking him lightly. He realizes he’s been leaning against Kravitz for however long, which is embarrassing primarily because it implies he’s the kind of person that requires physical affection. Which he certainly is _not,_ and how dare anyone suggest it. His sunglasses have fallen off of his face, making the brightness in Angus’s apartment hard to take. He’s scowling as he puts them back on.

The nerd squad says their goodbyes and heads out; Barry and Lup to their apartment, Lucretia to hers, Magic Brian next door to his. Before Barry leaves he gives Kravitz his number, in case he wants to join the game sometime. This could not have possibly gone worse for Taako. He is suffering.

The two of them make their way back to their apartment and Taako slouches into the kitchen. The salt and vinegar chips were good, but now he’s hungry for an actual meal. “You gonna be up for a while, Krav?” he calls, because he’s not about to waste an opportunity to impress someone with his cooking.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Well, stick to that, cos I’m making you dinner.”

Kravitz pokes his head into the kitchen. He’s holding Garyl. The two have taken to each other too well. “Oh,” he says, watching Taako pull a pot and a saucepan down from the rack. “Thank you?”

“Yeah, yeah, that nap gave me some extra energy. Don’t feel too special.” He hasn’t been grocery shopping in a little while, so their options are limited, but it doesn’t take too long for Taako to throw together a nice, simple sauce for some penne. When it’s done he dumps cheese on it and brings two plates out to the living room where Kravitz is sitting. He slides one of them across to his roommate and flops onto Garyl’s favorite chair, ousting the cat, who meows in complaint. Taako rolls his eyes. “Bon appetit, kemosabe.”

Kravitz takes a bite and looks over at Taako, slightly awed. Taako raises an eyebrow. “It’s really good,” Kravitz says sheepishly. Taako laughs and adjusts his shades.

“Yeah, I know. _I’m_ really good.”

“Can I ask something?”

“...Yeah, I guess?”

Kravitz is quiet for a moment. “Do you mind if I ask why you’re always wearing sunglasses?” He looks apologetic for asking. “I mean, obviously you’re very committed to your aesthetic, but I never see you without them.”

Taako raises his eyebrows. “Shit, dude, I thought you were about to ask about my tragic backstory.” Which in a way he _is,_ but Kravitz doesn’t need to know that. Taako shrugs and takes another bite of pasta. “I got whacked on the head pretty hard as a kid and it fucked up my eyes or my brain or whatever. I’m just sensitive to light.” He neglects to mention the circumstances of the injury, and he’s glad when Kravitz doesn’t press. Keeping that lie consistent gets old fast.

“Oh,” Kravitz says. He looks like he expected something more than that, but he doesn’t look unhappy with that knowledge. “I see.”

That’s when Garyl climbs onto the coffee table and tries to get into Kravitz’s pasta. “You little shit,” Taako groans, leaning forward to pick up Garyl and remove him from the scene. “That’s not for you. Taako will make you good food soon, but that’s not for you.”

It’s not long after that that they retire to their bedrooms. Cooking improved Taako’s mood a little bit, as did the compliments on the meal. Still, he’s had a long day, and he’s tired. He sinks into bed and doesn’t bother to complain when Garyl curls up next to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for more of me babbling about this nonsense fic, check out my [tumblr!](https://traumataako.tumblr.com/) stuff about this au can be found under the tag "garyl is a cat au" !!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako gets woken up too early. kravitz is a softie. garyl sheds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay and the short update, i've been out of town with one of my partners for new year's! i should be posting semi-regularly again now that i'm home. anyway, enjoy!

It’s four in the morning and the fire alarm is going off.

Taako rolls out of bed with a groan. He’s still wearing last night’s makeup and his eyeliner is smudged all over his face. This isn’t the first time that the fire alarm has gone off at some absurd hour of the night, and Taako’s pretty sure he knows the reason for it — well, he has two guesses. It’s either the Hammerheads, who despite being grown ass adults, take great joy in pranks on the level of a thirteen year old; or it’s the twerp who lives across the hall and down one, Lucas Miller. The last time it was a Miller issue, the shithead had set something on fire in some ill-conceived chemistry experiment and the smell didn’t leave the hall for two weeks.

Taako hates that guy.

He rolls out of bed and grabs a wrinkled light pink silk robe off of the floor, pulling it on with bleary eyes as he makes his way into the living room. Kravitz is already awake, looking confused and irritated. Taako is annoyed to note that in spite of the expression on his face, he’s still ridiculously handsome. Taako thinks it’s indecent.

“Is there a fire?” Kravitz asks sleepily, and at the very least Taako is glad that he doesn’t seem to be especially competent when he’s just been woken up by an unholy mechanical screeching. _That_ would be a bridge too far. Garyl rubs up against Taako’s legs and Taako scoops him up without thinking.

“Fuckin’ probably not,” he groans. “Come on. We gotta wait outside til the fire cops show up.”

“The fire cops,” Kravitz repeats, but he follows as Taako opens the apartment door and stalks downstairs to the parking lot below. Most of their neighbors are already outside, and Taako takes at least some pleasure in inspecting their sleepwear. There’s Merle Highchurch from next door, dressed in a worn green robe and birkenstocks, one hand on each of his kids’ shoulders. He’s standing next to a gnome Taako doesn’t recognize, who’s dressed in matching blue pajamas. Magnus and Julia Burnsides are there too, their dog on a leash in front of them, which reminds Taako that he’s still holding Garyl. He furrows his brow.

“Don’t think this means I like you,” he mumbles into the cat’s ear, prompting a loud meow from Garyl that draws the Burnsides’s attention.

“Morning, Taako,” says Magnus. The Burnsides are on the other side of Taako and Kravitz and they are way too married. Taako doesn’t know how their roommate stands it. Even now Magnus has an arm wrapped around Julia’s waist while she holds their dog (Johann, which Taako only knows because there’s also a half-elf named Johann who lives next door to _them_ , and he’s overheard Magnus goofing about it with the depressed motherfucker.) Dog Johann sniffs at the cat in Taako’s arms and he wrinkles his nose, instinctively lifting Garyl a little further away.

“It’s four A-fuckin’-M, Burnsides, it’s not morning yet.”

“Fair enough,” Magnus says, looking entirely too good-natured about getting snapped at.

Taako glowers and realizes that he’s shivering. He was sleeping in a crop top and shorts because he likes to keep his room hot, but it’s late October on a damp night. He holds Garyl a little tighter like a space heater. The cat purrs.

“Do any of you know what the hell’s going on?” Merle butts in, tugging his son along behind him while his daughter looks around anxiously for the Neverwinter fire brigade.

“There was a smell in the hall,” Kravitz says. Taako had practically forgotten his roommate was out there with him. His object permanence isn’t great at four in the morning. “Do you think that had something to do with it?”

“Probably Lucas again then,” Julia says. She stifles a yawn behind her hand and leans her head on Magnus’s shoulder. _Way_ too fucking married.

“That little turd,” Merle sighs and nods. He reaches absently for the gnome, who looks slightly flustered, but leans into Merle’s touch. Taako has to think very hard about not rolling his eyes. Is Merle _fuckin’_ Highchurch really getting laid when he’s not? That’s almost too much to take.

It’s not that Taako minds being single. He prefers it. Relationships are messy, ugly things that only end in death or breakups. Still, he’s cold.

He wouldn’t exactly mind having someone to lean on right now. That’s all.

Thankfully, his neighbors mostly shut the fuck up after that. The Burnsides’s roommate Carey strolls up on the scene dressed in respectable clubwear leaning on Killian from across the hall and immediately crouches to hug Dog Johann when she realizes the fire alarm went off. Roswell, who isn’t _technically_ in charge of anything but is Superintendent Isaak’s cousin (or something, Taako’s not entirely sure how an animate suit of armor can be related to a regular human, but whatevs) speaks to the firefighters after they come out. Taako spots Lucas Miller lurking by the door looking nervous, which all but cements it in Taako’s head that the fire was both real and Lucas’s fault. Magic Brian and his fiance are outside too, Brian leaning into his chest and dozing off.

Taako’s still not jealous, and he still doesn’t want a relationship, but it all sours his mood considerably. More than it already was. He’s zoning out, practically falling asleep standing up until he hears his name.

“Taako, do you want my robe?”

He looks up in the direction of the voice to see Kravitz, who looks somewhat concerned. Taako tries not to find it endearing. He raises an eyebrow at his roommate. “What?”

“You look like you’re freezing,” Kravitz says. Kravitz’s robe is plush, ankle-length, and like most of Kravitz’s wardrobe, black. And it looks exceptionally warm. Taako weighs his options.

“It’s cold,” he says noncommittally at first. But he’s covered in goosebumps and his teeth are chattering and Kravitz is giving him these puppy dog eyes like he really _gives a shit_ , and between that and how tired Taako is, he sighs and nods. “Yeah, yeah, fine. I’ll take it.” Kravitz slips out of his robe and holds it out to Taako, who awkwardly shuffles Garyl into Kravitz’s arms for a moment to take it. It’s as soft as it looks, almost like feathers, and he melts into it as soon as he wraps it around himself. It’s too long for him and drags on the ground slightly, but he pretends not to notice.

“Is that better?” Kravitz asks, fighting back a smile for reasons Taako can’t identify. He probably just looks really good in the robe. It wouldn’t be the first time a dude has fallen all over himself at seeing Taako wear his clothes.

Taako holds his arms out to take Garyl back, and Kravitz hands him over. “Yeah,” he says, trying not to sound too appreciative. Taako realizes only as Kravitz visibly relaxes that the worry may have been _genuine,_ which sends a funny shooting feeling into his gut. “Thanks,” he adds, sounding slightly unsure of himself.

Garyl immediately sheds white fur on Kravitz’s robe. Kravitz notices, but he doesn’t seem to care. “It’s fine,” he says easily, like he means it.

Maybe it’s because Taako’s so tired, but he gets another pang in his stomach. Kravitz seems so sincere about _everything,_ and Taako doesn’t know how to take it. Sincerity isn’t something he’s used to from relative strangers -- from _anyone,_ really, except for Lup. She sees it more places than Taako ever has, and sometimes she’s right, but Taako’s always found he’d rather err on the side of caution. He’s got good insight, but on the off chance someone sneaks past it, he never trusts sincerity like this. He doesn’t want to live with it.

He’s sure Kravitz will expect something for loaning him this robe, and now he regrets taking it, despite the comforting warmth of it. He looks away from Kravitz, presses his face into Garyl’s fur like a reinforcement of his barriers. He misses the look of confusion that passes across Kravitz’s face. “Are you alright, Taako?” Kravitz asks.

“Yeah?” Taako says, not looking up from Garyl’s fur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i hope you're enjoying! i really appreciate kudos and comments, and if you want to see me babbling incoherently about this au and other things, check out my [tumblr.](traumataako.tumblr.com/tagged/garyl)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako and kravitz run lines for a play. taako does something inadvisable.

Taako is in a good mood. He woke up with enough energy to make himself breakfast instead of finishing off his third box of toaster strudels this week. He even got in a decent nap after loading himself up with french toast.

When he woke up Garyl was snuggled under his armpit. It was warm and pleasant. He wouldn’t admit it, but the cat is growing on him.

He’s putting the finishing touches on his makeup when there’s a knock at his door. He raises his eyebrows at himself in the mirror and slips on a pastel pink cropped sweater before answering. Not surprisingly, it’s Kravitz, who for once isn’t dressed to the nines -- he must be having a lazy day, Taako thinks. He’s wearing black joggers and a fantasy My Chemical Romance t-shirt, which Taako can’t help but smirk at a little bit. “Nice shirt,” he says before Kravitz can get a word in. It nets him a flustered-looking Kravitz, slightly pink in the cheeks, and Taako’s smirk shifts into a grin.

“Thank you,” Kravitz says awkwardly. “Um, I was wondering. I’m in a play and we’re supposed to be off-book soon, but there’s a few scenes I’m still struggling with. Would you be willing to run some lines with me?”

Taako raises an eyebrow. “You’re in a play?” he asks. “I didn't know you acted.”

“Yeah. It’s just- it’s just a community theater thing.”

“Cool,” Taako says, although it doesn’t sound even remotely like he _actually_ thinks it’s cool. It sounds like he thinks Kravitz is a nerd, which he does. Taako stretches, raising his arms up above his head and then nodding as he relaxes. “Yeah, I’ll help, why not. I got nothin’ better to do today.” He grabs a pair of shades from a shelf by his door and slides them on over his very glittery eyes.

Kravitz smiles, looking grateful. _Sincerely_ grateful, as is the nature of most of his expressions. Taako still doesn’t know how to handle that. “Thank you,” he says. “I’ll owe you one.”

Taako can’t say he doesn’t like the sound of that.

He follows Kravitz into the living room, Garyl winding his way between Taako’s ankles as he makes the short walk. Taako almost trips into Kravitz’s back and he shoots the cat a glare, but Kravitz doesn’t notice. Which is good, because Taako would hate for his roommate to think he’s any less wildly dextrous than he is. He’s _graceful,_ god damn it, it’s just this fucking cat. “So what play is it?” he asks as he sinks into the couch, spreading himself out like a renaissance painting.

“It’s an original work by a local playwright,” Kravitz says. “Let me grab my script, I’ll be right back.”

Taako watches Kravitz go and strokes Garyl behind the ears when he hops up onto the couch next to him. “He’s a fuckin’ nerd, huh,” he asks the cat quietly. Garyl meows. Taako tries not to take it as conversation, because listen, he’s not the kind of weirdo who talks to his cat. Lup might be, but he’s not.

Kravitz comes back and sits in the armchair since Taako is taking up most of the couch, and he flips through the script for a moment before finding what he’s looking for. “Here,” he says. Taako shifts so he can read too, jostling Garyl out of the way and earning himself a dirty look from the cat, who he flips off. Garyl, an absolute traitor, hops up onto Kravitz’s lap instead.

Taako is _not in the slightest_ jealous.

“So who are you?” Taako asks, plucking the script out of Kravitz’s hands.

“Bernard. He’s, uh, the male lead.” Kravitz sounds a little bit flustered, like he’s embarrassed about being big in the show. _Modest._ Taako rolls his eyes.

“Uh huh.” He scans the script. It’s a romantic scene between Bernard and someone named Victoria. There’s a fleeting moment where Taako thinks maybe this is Kravitz flirting with him -- after all, he’s probably got friends he could read this scene with, or the actress playing Victoria -- but he’s asking Taako. He quashes that thought, though, before it can fester and turn into a hope. “This writing is, uh…”

“Not the best,” Kravitz says with a half-smile. “I know.”

“Well, at least you’re self-aware.” Taako adjusts his sunglasses. “You big into drama, Krav? Theater major?”

“I’m a music major,” he says, laughing good-naturedly. “Which I thought you knew.”

Taako shrugs. Now that he thinks about it, Kravitz had definitely mentioned that at some point, but why should he care much? They’re just roommates. “Riiight. I did know that. Anyway, where are we starting.”

“Here,” Kravitz says, pointing to a line. He clears his throat awkwardly and starts speaking. “Victoria, it’s not what you think,” he says, and Taako is caught off-guard by the sudden appearance of a terrible accent in his voice. He bursts out laughing.

“Holy shit, is that the voice you’re going with?”

Kravitz blushes a deep red. “It- yeah, I was planning on it.”

“Don’t do that. You _can’t_ do that. Holy shit, dude.”

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s _horrible,_ boychik, is your director really letting you do that?” Taako shifts so he can look genuinely concerned, and Kravitz continues to look flustered.

“He hasn’t told me not to.”

“Okay, well, _I’m_ telling you not to. God damn. Did you do that in your audition?” When Kravitz doesn’t say anything, Taako feels like maybe he’s taken it a step too far. What he feels isn’t guilt, exactly, so much as it is a reminder that he has to live with Kravitz for however long, so he tries to soften the blow. “If you did then you must have been pretty fuckin’ good otherwise. Okay. Take it from the top, drop the shtick.”

Kravitz clears his throat and tries again, speaking in his normal voice. “Victoria, it’s not what you think,” he says again, and alright, that’s better. Now he sounds soulful, not comedic. Now Taako can buy him as a romantic lead.

“I saw you together,” Taako says. The writing really isn’t compelling in the slightest, which becomes more evident as the scene progresses. It’s cliched and hackneyed, but Kravitz isn’t bad. Taako squints down at the script.

The scene ends in a kiss, which is a fact that takes root in Taako’s brain in a way he doesn’t appreciate.

“Can we run it a few more times?” Kravitz asks, and Taako nods.

“Whatever floats your boat, my dude. Shoot.”

And so they run it. “Victoria, you’re the only one for me, I promise,” Kravitz says, and Taako can’t stop thinking about the kiss at the end of the scene. It’s not like he hasn’t _sort of_ thought about kissing Kravitz before. He’s hot. That’s just a fact. What he doesn’t like is the faint feeling that settles into his gut, pinning his ears back like an annoyed cat, which he is trying his hardest not to identify as jealousy that someone is going to get to kiss Kravitz. He hates this feeling, this impulse to be anything other than casual roommates with him.

He’s just so sincere. He’s so dorky. He’s so easily flustered. It shouldn’t be charming, but it is.

“Then prove it,” Taako says. In spite of himself, he’s getting into the scene a little bit. And then, in spite of himself, he leans in across the end table between them and plants a kiss on Kravitz’s lips. It’s not deep, but it’s more than a little peck, and he hesitates there for a moment before flopping back into his seat on the couch. He doesn’t make eye contact with Kravitz, although he doesn’t look away, either; that would be too conspicuous. Instead he forces an easy, lazy grin onto his face. Kravitz looks dumbstruck. He clears his throat.

“Well,” he says. “Thank you for running with me.”

“Yeah, yeah, no problem. You got a better grip on it now?”

“I think so. Taako?”

“It’s in the script, Kravitz,” Taako says with a chuckle. That’s when he looks away, towards the hallway where their rooms are, and he misses Kravitz looking slightly crestfallen. “Anyway, I gotta go get lunch with my sister. See you later,” he says, leaving the couch and going to his room to grab a messenger back to sling over his shoulder. He doesn’t look at Kravitz as he passes through the living room again, only offers him a wave in return to the half-hearted “bye” that Kravitz tosses out.

* * *

“I’m sorry, you _what?_ ”

“I kissed him.”

“And you said it was just because it was in the script?”

“Yep.” Taako leans back in his seat and takes a drink of his hot chocolate. “Smooth, right?”

Lup doesn’t look impressed with him. In fact, she leans forward and presses her palms into her eyes. “Taako, you’re a piece of shit.”

“What?”

“You _know_ you just made shit awkward for this poor dude, right? And he seemed pretty awkward already.”

“What? It was a joke.”

“Sure,” she says, dropping her hands to fix him with a stare. One of her eyebrows is raised doubtfully, and Taako instantly feels defensive.

“It _was._ ”

“And it had nothing at all to do with the fact that you, you know, _wanted_ to kiss him. Sure. Okay.”

“Whatever. I don’t need to explain myself.”

“You sure as shit do, babe.” Lup takes a bite of her sandwich. “You have to tell him you like him.”

“I _don’t,_ ” Taako insists.

“Sure, right, you just think he’s hot and you invite him to DnD and you _literally kiss him._ ”

“I didn’t come to lunch to get attacked, you know, Lulu.”

“Don’t Lulu me. Taako, I love you, but that was a shitty thing to do.”

Taako furrows his brow and pushes his sunglasses further up his nose. “Well, it’s done. I don’t know what you expect me to do about it now.”

Lup groans. “Maybe try talking about your feelings, T.”

“What feelings.” Taako finishes his sandwich and stands up from the table. “See you on Tuesday, Lup.”

“Taako--”

“Look, I’ll think about it.”

Lup rolls her eyes. “Yeah, alright.” She softens, then, and rolls up the paper from her straw into a ball to throw at him. “I’m just saying, Taako, he seems like a nice dude. And you deserve to be happy.”

Taako feels his cheeks heat up. “I am happy, Lulu,” he says, and leaves the restaurant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey wow between last chapter and this one i broke 100 kudos! that's absolutely baffling to me and i'm so glad that many people are enjoying this silly fic. it means a lot to me, so thank you all for your support! if you feel like it, leave me a comment or talk to me on my [tumblr](traumataako.tumblr.com), where i blog about this au under the tag "garyl is a cat au" and take ficlet requests!!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako has a headache and almost talks about his feelings. the squad attends a wedding.

Magic Brian’s wedding is in three days and Taako needs a plus one.

Now, on principle, he didn’t RSVP. And he’s had doubts about going, because honestly, he doesn’t need to see his almost-ex rub his One True Love or whatever in his face. But Lup, of course, wouldn’t let him off that easy, so she handed Brian his RSVP card personally at a DND session, a check mark in the plus one box. He was mad at her for a week, but now it’s not like he can _back down._

He’s planning his outfit, because he has to look _perfect_ for this, dresses and suits spread out across his room. Garyl is stuck outside his door meowing pathetically for entrance, but Taako’s not about to get cat fur all over half his wardrobe. He’s been too lazy to buy a lint roller.

It’s been three days since he kissed Kravitz, who’s been avoiding him. Taako doesn’t feel bad about it; at least, he’d _swear_ to you he doesn’t feel bad about it. Lup’s chastisement has certainly not gotten under his skin. Taako doesn’t really _do_ feeling guilty, especially not over nonessentials like this. Kravitz is just some dude who lives with him. Some dude who’s handsome, who’s almost endearingly dorky, who cares enough about Taako to loan him a robe at 4:30 in the morning when it’s cold outside. Sure, he gets along with Garyl, but what does that matter?

The problem with this is that Taako has run out of options. He can’t think of anyone to ask to be his date to Brian’s wedding because he doesn’t _talk_ to people, doesn’t interact with anyone on a very deep level. Besides, Brian knows all of Taako’s friends, because Taako’s friends are Lup’s friends, and nobody would believe that Taako was there with any of them. It’s a pickle he finds himself in. There’s a very short list of people he feels like he might be able to get away with -- and it’s really less of a list and more of one name, that name being Kravitz.

He decides to take a break from wardrobe planning and deftly scoops Garyl up on his way out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen. Evidently satisfied to be in the same room as Taako (Taako can’t blame him,) Garyl squirms out of Taako’s arms and hops onto the counter and then onto the top of the fridge, where he likes to spend a good deal of time. Taako looks through the kitchen and decides he’s baking today. Nothing too complicated, just a peasant loaf; just something to occupy his hands and his mind while he tries to figure out what to do. He doesn’t know how likely Kravitz is to say yes now that he’s done this, but he’ll never know if he doesn’t try, right?

(He’s worried that if he _does_ try, that if Kravitz _does_ say know, it’ll hurt his feelings. It’s an absurd thing to worry about. He’s got a thick skin. He can handle rejection. He’s a big boy.

So why does he feel this sense of apprehension?)

* * *

When the dough is starting its first rise, the front door opens and Kravitz walks in. Taako is washing his hands, which are covered in goop, and he tries to ignore the way his chest seizes up. It’s not guilt he’s feeling, and it’s certainly not affection. It’s barely even anticipation. “Hey, K-man,” he calls before Kravitz can beat a hasty retreat to his room. “C’mere.”

Facing the sink, he doesn’t see the way Kravitz swallows as he drops his keys on the table by the door, or the way he visibly steels himself. He wipes his palms on his fitted black trousers and breaths in and out a few times before making his way to the kitchen. “Hello,” he says. “What can I do for you?”

Taako turns around and reaches for a rag to dry his hands, putting off the actual conversation for as long as possible. For once he sees Kravitz’s reaction to this. He looks nervous, about as nervous as Taako feels, and that makes things worse. He tries not to think the thought that enters into his mind, tries to push it down, but it comes anyway: _Lup was right._

That was a shitty thing to do.

Yeah, that’s guilt he’s feeling.

“So listen,” he says, and Taako is nothing if not an excellent liar, so he doesn’t _sound_ upset, doesn’t look it. “You remember Magic Brian, right? From DND?”

“Yes.”

“Dude’s getting married in liiike, three days.”

“Okay.”

“And chaboy needs a date to the soiree. Figured I’d see if you were down.” He pauses, and then speaks quickly. “You know, there’ll be free food, at any rate. And dancing. You a dancer, Krav?” And now he’s starting to sound nervous, so he reels it in. He waits for Kravitz to speak.

“I’m not,” Kravitz says, and looks like he’s doing complicated arithmetic in the privacy of his own mind. “But… I wouldn’t mind going with you.”

Taako grins, easy as lying. He’s torn between relief that Kravitz has agreed to go and disappointment that it’s just that he _wouldn’t mind._ He’s a little bit offended: Taako is a luxury few can afford, and here he’s just offering it up to Kravitz for free. “Great,” he says, reaching up to adjust his sunglasses. “Starts at 4 on Saturday, it’s at the Neverwinter Botanical Gardens. Like, of _course,_ ” he says, unable to keep his snark to himself. “What an obvious place, right? Have some fuckin’ creativity. Oh, we should coordinate our outfits.”

Taako turns back to the counter and wipes some stray flour away with his rag. “Anyway,” he says, refusing to look at Kravitz while he at least attempts some form of apology. “Sorry about the other day. I don’t know what came over me,” he says.

As usual, he misses the way Kravitz’s brows furrow. “It’s alright,” he says. “You just surprised me.”

“Yeah, well. I’m capricious.” He tosses the rag to the side and looks around for something else to do. Finding nothing, he turns back to Kravitz again, picking up a wooden spoon to fidget with. “Listen, I don’t know how you feel about it being _a date_ \--”

“In favor,” Kravitz says, so quickly that it catches both of them off-guard.

“Oh.” Taako wasn’t expecting that, and it shows on his face for a few brief seconds before he slides back into his confident front and grins. “Yeah, I mean, that’s no surprise. Turning down a date with Taako would be a misstep.”

Kravitz looks embarrassed, but not unhappy; in fact, he chances a little bit of a smile back at Taako. He seems a little calmer now that he’s seen Taako surprised, and while Taako is glad he’s chilled out, he’s frustrated that he let it show on his face. “Certainly,” Kravitz agrees. “Uh, you said we should coordinate?”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess we’ll be doing black, huh,” he says with a laugh.

* * *

They take Kravitz’s car because Taako’s getting a headache. He worked a short shift this morning, but it was an awful one; not to mention the day is too bright for late October, which Taako firmly feels should be gray and cloudy, so he’s looking determinedly down at his knees as they make their way to the botanical gardens. The two of them are a sight to behold in matching black and red velvet. Kravitz’s dreads are up in a large bun and Taako’s hair is elaborately braided and pulled back to devote attention to the glittery black eyeshadow he’s sporting underneath his sunglasses. They look fucking _phenomenal,_ and if it wasn’t for the migraine encroaching, Taako would be in a good mood. Kravitz has the radio playing low, some jazz CD he likes, and Taako rummages in his bag for a few fantasy ibuprofen to choke down before they arrive.

He’s not looking forward to the reception, although he supposes at least there’s an open bar in his future. They’re quiet as they drive, which Taako presumes is Kravitz trying to respect his headache. Of course, it could just as well be nerves — Kravitz has a nervous tendency about him when it comes to social interaction, like it’s not something he does much, and Taako figures the thought of attending a relative stranger’s wedding with a bunch of other strangers might set that off.

His headache doesn’t have him feeling especially empathetic, though. They pull into the parking lot and Taako exhales, bidding the painkillers to kick in. “You ready to steal the fucking show, my man?” he asks, not waiting for an answer before he climbs out of the car. Kravitz joins him with a nervous grin.

“I guess so,” he says, and hesitantly offers Taako his arm to take. Taako wraps his arm around Kravitz’s and forces a grin.

“Let’s go, then,” he says, and the two of them make their way into the venue, where Lup and Barry have saved them seats already, along with the rest of their nerd squad. He’s glad to see Barry has reined it in a little bit and is wearing black jeans instead of his usual bright blue, but he sinks into the seat next to Lup without mentioning it. Lup, naturally, knows exactly what that means.

“Headache, huh?” she asks, reaching out to pat his leg. Taako nods.

“Better be a short ceremony,” he says with a shrug, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Good to see you again, Kravitz,” Angus pipes up from next to Barry. He looks genuinely delighted to see the two of them together, and it dawns on Taako that Lup absolutely told all of them that he would be bringing Kravitz as a real, honest-to-god date. He glances past his sister and her boyfriend to see Lucretia and Angus both looking at him expectantly, and he makes a note to poison Lup next time he cooks for her.

“Oh, it’s good to see you too,” Kravitz agrees, offering a smile in return. It’s still nervous, but there’s that ever-present sincerity there too.

“You two look great,” Lup says, her hand rubbing a soothing circle on Taako’s knee. Maybe he won’t _poison_ her.

“We always look great,” Taako says. “You haven’t seen Krav here much, but I think this is one of like, four pairs of black velvet pants he owns.”

Kravitz grins sheepishly. “Guilty as charged,” he says.

“You’re perfectly matched, then,” Lup laughs.

Music starts playing shortly thereafter and the wedding party starts to file in. The music is too loud and throbs in Taako’s head, but he sets his jaw and refuses to complain. He’s going to show Brian tonight, he’s going to have a great time on an actual date. He’s going to look better than Brian _or_ his fiance while he does it. That’s just how it is.

Thankfully, he gets his wish for a reasonably short ceremony. Magic Brian wears a glittering black three-piece suit and gets weepy when the officiant asks “Brian, do you take Brad Bradson to be your lawfully wedded husband?” They both look as happy as Taako’s ever seen either of them, and in spite of himself, it rubs off on him a little. He’s happy for them. He guesses.

Brian’s fingers tangle into Brad’s ponytail as they kiss and then the two of them beam out at the crowd. Taako stands as soon as it’s permissible and exhales. “How sappy, huh,” he says, mostly to make fun of Barry, who’s teary-eyed. Lup laughs.

“It was sweet,” she says, tugging Barry to his feet. “Come on. Let’s go get schickered.”

“Sounds perfect,” Taako says. He and Kravitz make their way back to Kravitz’s car and head for the reception.

“How’s your head?” Kravitz asks as they drive.

“Shitty,” he replies with a shrug. “Nothin’ new. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure you want to go to this? It’ll probably be loud.”

“Krav, I didn’t shellac my face for nothing, my dude. I’ll be fine.” He is, although he wouldn’t admit it, a little touched by Kravitz’s willingness to just go home.

“If you’re certain.”

It’s just as well, since the reception isn’t too far from the botanical garden, and they’re there before long. Again, Taako grabs onto Kravitz’s arm as they head for the inside, which is about as lavishly decorated as two poor twenty-somethings living in a shitty apartment can afford, all in black and dark blue -- Taako assumes Brian did the color picking. Again, Lup and Barry made it there first with Lucretia and Angus, so Kravitz and Taako make their way to the table. Lup already has a screwdriver on the table for Taako, which he takes and chugs without hesitation.

“You’re an angel, Lulu,” he says.

“I know,” she replies. “Barry, take Taako to get more drinks.” Barry stands up without hesitation.

“What? I just sat down.” Taako narrows his eyes at Lup. He knows what she’s planning. She wants to grill Kravitz, and she’s not being subtle about it.

“Yeah, I know. Go get drinks, I’m not getting you another one,” she says, a shit-eating grin on her face.

He’s back to poisoning her later, but he lets out a heavy sigh. “Krav, what do you want.”

“Oh, uh, just a coke.” Kravitz smiles at Taako, who stands up.

“Bo-ring,” he says, and he shoots Lup a glare before he and Barry make their way to the bar.

“So--”

“Barold, if you try to interrogate me about my love life, I will steal Lup’s lighter and set your jeans on fire. I know where she keeps it.”

Barry just laughs, which Taako doesn’t appreciate it. He doesn’t make empty threats, damn it. “I was just going to ask if your head’s doing any better.”

“It will be once I slam a couple more drinks.”

The two of them get in line, which is already long. Taako can hear Lup laughing hysterically from their table and his ear twitches. He looks over his shoulder to see Kravitz, Angus, and Lucretia deep in some conversation after he’s been gone for less than a minute, which he’s simultaneously irritated and endeared by.

Taako doesn’t necessarily consider Lucretia and Angus his friends -- Angus comes a little closer, being that they live in the same complex and Angus seems to think Taako is hot shit -- but he’s glad, at least, that Kravitz is fitting in with them. It’s less awkward that way. He and Barry grab several drinks -- two cokes (for Angus and Kravitz,) a glass of dry red wine (for Lucretia,) a rum and coke (for Lup,) a Fantasy Shirley Temple (for Barry,) and a vodka cranberry for Taako -- before they head back to their seats. Taako catches the tail end of one of Kravitz’s sentences before he sits down: “I just think the sixth one gives Caleb the strongest characterization.”

Taako announces his presence with a groan. “Not those Kid Cop books these two are always babbling about. You have to stop being such a nerd.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldn't resist making a [polyvore set](https://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=233592176) for taako and kravitz's wedding wear, i just love clothes too much. anyway, thank you as always for reading! come talk to me over on tumblr, [@traumataako!](traumataako.tumblr.com)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako and kravitz have a lovely time at magic brian's reception, until they don't.

Kravitz fits in well with Lup’s friends. Taako is trying not to be endeared by it, and also trying not to be jealous of it; Angus, Lucretia, and Kravitz have been embroiled in a conversation about Caleb Cleveland: Kid Cop for twenty minutes, and they all seem to be having a good time. It’s not that he _doesn’t_ get along with Lup’s friends -- he’s pretty sure little Angus McDonald wants to be him, and who could blame him -- but these three are making fast friends.

Taako has never made a fast friend in his life.

“So then Lucretia’s wizard cast the biggest shield spell, she saved everyone,” Angus is saying with starry eyes. While Taako wasn’t paying attention, the three of them moved onto Dungeons and Dragons. Typical.

“Barry’s a good DM. He gives us all opportunities to shine. You should really consider joining our campaign, Kravitz, we’d be glad to have you.”

“I’d like that,” Kravitz says with a grin. “I’ve been wanting to get back into playing. It’s been a little while.”

“We’ve been trying to get Taako to play with us for months,” Lucretia says, draining her wine glass. “But he seems to think he’s too cool for us. Maybe you can help us convince him.”

“Fat chance, Lu,” Taako snorts. He’s had several more drinks at this point and is feeling sort of wobbly where he sits, which he decides means it’s time to not be sitting. He looks out across the dancefloor, where Lup is cutting a rug and Barry is trying to keep up. That settles it. He slams his hand dramatically on the table in front of him. “I’m stealing him,” he says, fixing his eyes on Kravitz, who goes faintly pink. “Come on. Up. We’re going dancing.”

“Alright,” Kravitz agrees, looking sheepishly at his new friends. Lucretia is stifling a giggle and Angus looks utterly delighted, which makes him blush deeper as Taako tags him out to the dance floor. They pass Brian and Brad and Brian has the audacity to _wink_ at Taako, who flips him off.

He’s grinning, though.

His head is still pounding, but he feels better with some vodka in him, even if his stomach is begin to feel unsettled. The newlyweds hired Johann from down the hall to play for them, and currently there’s upbeat violin music filling the reception hall. He’s a mopey fuck, but Taako can admit that he’s good. Looking around, Taako can actually see several of their neighbors -- the Burnsides are laughing uproariously at a table with Carey as well as Johann’s roommate Avi, Roswell is swaying in time to the music on the edge of the dancefloor, Merle is dancing with his kids and the gnome from the other night. That’s the thing about Magic Brian. He’s incapable of not being friendly with people. Typically, Taako takes it as passive aggression, but with a guest list like this it makes him wonder if maybe it’s meant at face value. Hell, even Lucas Miller is here, stubbornly not talking to anyone.

Taako starts moving. He’s not an especially good dancer, but he’s confident about it, which balances it out to a degree. Kravitz is somewhat awkward, which makes Taako laugh. “Chill out,” he says over the music.

“What?”

“I said chill out.”

“No, I heard you, I’m- I’m chill.”

“Suuure, Krav. You look like a fuckin’ deer in the headlights.”

The music slows and then stops, and Johann starts a slow song. Taako smirks up at Kravitz and rests his hands on his shoulders, wiggling his eyebrows for good measure. Kravitz blushes again, but he also grins, hesitantly placing his hands on Taako’s hips. Kravitz is considerably more competent at slow dancing, Taako realizes, and lets him take the lead -- it’s an informal waltz, but he seems more sure of himself this way.

They sway and they spin and all is well and good in the world. Taako doesn’t feel vulnerable, but he feels happy; he feels like there might actually be something between himself and Kravitz. When he leans forward and rests his head against Kravitz’s chest, Kravitz pulls him just a little bit closer. He catches Lup looking at the two of them and winks, and she gives him a thumbs up from across the floor. It’s a good moment. Then Taako’s head starts to spin, and he furrows his brow.

“Shit,” he mumbles, and he steps away from Kravitz.

“Taako?”

“I just gotta- I’m fine, gimme a minute.” He thinks the ibuprofen must be wearing off and the drinks must be setting in, and between that and the movement, he’s suddenly feeling considerably less than his best. “I’m fine.”

“Taako, come on, let’s get you back sitting down.” Kravitz’s hands are on him again, gently guiding him back to the table, but Taako shakes his head.

“No, I’m gonna yartz, get me home,” he says with a grimace. He realizes how badly he’s slurring his words, realizes how ugly he must look right now in this state. Kravitz nods.

“I’ll get you out to the car,” he says. He’s so careful with Taako, like he’s a fragile thing. Taako isn’t used to that kind of treatment. If he weren’t in so much pain and so suddenly frustrated with himself, he thinks he might like it; instead, he wraps his arms around himself and staggers out with Kravitz. He swallows the bile that’s threatening to rise up in his throat. He can hold it until they get back to the apartment, no one else has to see him like this.

It’s bad enough that Kravitz does.

Kravitz gets him into the car and then promises to be back after he grabs Taako’s purse. In the passenger seat Taako curls up with his legs to his chest. It’s dark outside, and much quieter than in the reception hall, which helps. He takes off his sunglasses and presses his forehead against his knees. It takes too long for Kravitz to come back, even though realistically he’s only gone for a few minutes. When he starts the car Taako winces at the noise. Kravitz turns the radio off completely and drives, occasionally shooting worried glances in Taako’s direction. When they pull into the complex, Kravitz gets out first and rushes over to the passenger side to help Taako out of the car.

Taako pushes Kravitz away quickly and bends down to vomit on the pavement. “Fuck,” he groans, feeling humiliated and miserable. He’s thankful, at least, that his hair is pulled back, that he missed his shoes. He stays crouched there for a moment before he manages to stand up. Kravitz reaches for him again, but he doesn’t push when Taako shies away from his touch. Taako stumbles up the stairs towards their second-floor apartment with Kravitz following him. He staggers into the living room and falls face-first onto the couch.

“Can I do anything for you?” Kravitz asks as the door closes behind him.

“I’m fine,” Taako repeats, not looking at Kravitz. Things were good for a moment there, but now that Kravitz has seen him like this, he’s certain it’s time to pack his bags and move away.

“I’ll get you some water,” Kravitz offers. The sound of the faucet running cuts through Taako’s skull painfully and he curls in on himself. When Kravitz returns he doesn’t reach for Taako, but he crouches by the couch and watches him carefully. “Here,” he says softly, pressing the glass into Taako’s palm.

Taako takes it and sits up just enough to take a drink, chancing a look at Kravitz. He doesn’t look disgusted. Just concerned. Taako’s stomach twists and he isn’t sure if it’s another round of vomit on the way or if it’s fondness, thankfulness that Kravitz isn’t writing him off. He drains half the glass, which proves to be the wrong idea. He stands up abruptly and rushes to the bathroom, nearly tripping over the coffee table. Kravitz follows him again, hovers behind him. He reaches into the medicine cabinet for the painkillers and crouches next to Taako while he’s sick.

“Why are you doing this,” Taako mumbles drunkenly.

“What?”

“Why are you helping me.” His eyes are fixed on the toilet bowl in front of him, so he misses the look of confusion that passes over Kravitz’s face.

“You’re sick, Taako. I’m just… I’m just trying to take care of you. Is that okay?”

Taako sniffs and doesn’t reply for a long moment. He’s not used to anyone _taking care of him_ aside from Lup. He doesn’t think he’s done anything to deserve this treatment from Kravitz, and the fear creeps in again that he’ll want a favor, that he’s doing this for some opportunistic purpose. Taako lets out a shaking exhale and changes the subject. “Where’s Garyl?” he asks, because as much as he hates to admit it, the comfort of Garyl’s soft fur sounds like the best thing right now.

“On top of the fridge,” Kravitz says. “Do you want me to get him for you?”

Taako groans quietly. “No. He’ll just run away.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the record, i've had migraines like this! they're the absolute worst.
> 
> if you're enjoying, consider leaving me a comment! come talk to me on my tumblr, [@traumataako!](traumataako.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> taako wakes up with a hangover. things get worse from there.

Taako wakes up with what is either a hangover or a migraine, or possibly some utterly unholy combination of both. He doesn’t remember being moved to the couch. He doesn’t remember taking his makeup off. He doesn’t remember his blazer being removed and replaced with Kravitz’s cushy back robe. He doesn’t remember being tucked in under a soft blanket. He blames Kravitz for the lot of it, and while a part of him is touched that Kravitz took that level of care of him, he’s also utterly miserable that their first date ended that way. He’ll have to get Kravitz to strike it from the record and do it properly next time.

He’s mostly glad that it’s Sunday and he’s not working. He sniffs and sits up slowly, squinting around his apartment for his sunglasses. There’s usually a pair just about anywhere you look, but of course, he can’t find any. He’s unlucky like that. He lays back down, pressing his palms into his eyes, trying to figure out what to do. He thinks if he moves too much he may be sick again, but he’s also hungry, and he wants to get out of this dress.

Kravitz comes into the room. “Oh, you’re awake,” he says softly. Whatever he was on his way to do seems to drop from his mind as he moves to Taako’s side. “Can I get you anything?” he asks, his voice low and even.

“Fuckin’... I’m fine,” Taako says hoarsely. His throat is dry. He feels like _shit._

“Are you sure? Do you want some water?”

Taako hesitates for a moment before nodding. “Yeah,” he says, dropping his hands from his eyes but keeping his eyes shut. “And can you grab me a pair of shades. I don’t know, there’s a fuck-ton in my room.”

“Of course,” Kravitz says. He goes to Taako’s room first, then the kitchen, and brings Taako both of the requested items in one fell swoop. Taako takes both of them quickly. The shades go on first, and then he reaches into his nearby purse to pull out several ibuprofen and take them with the water. He exhales.

“Shit, Krav. I feel like grade A garbage.”

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says.

Taako nods and lays back down, his eyes open this time. The sunglasses are comforting on multiple levels. Taako wouldn’t admit it, but they’re a security object; he doesn’t feel right when he’s not wearing them. “You seen Garyl around?” he asks. “He’s usually all up in my business when I’m out here.”

“I haven’t,” Kravitz replies, furrowing his brow slightly. “Want me to look for him?”

“Pffft, whatever,” Taako starts, and then looks away. “Yeah. Yeah, could you?”

“Of course.”

Kravitz stands up and Taako closes his eyes again, listening to his roommate move around the apartment. The longer Kravitz is up, the more nervous Taako gets. There’s a sinking feeling in his stomach, which he wants to write off as the hangover, but the longer Kravitz is up, the less likely that seems.

It’s five minutes before Kravitz sinks down next to him again. Taako looks over and Kravitz looks upset, looks guilty. Taako’s heart drops into his gut.

“I can’t find him,” Kravitz says.

Taako sits upright too quickly. It sends his head spinning and makes him feel nauseated all over again, but he’s immediately trying to climb off the couch. “Did you look everywhere?” he snaps. “Did you check the top of the fridge?”

“I did, Taako, he’s- he’s not in here.”

Taako stumbles to his feet, hands shaking. “Fuck,” he mumbles. “ _Fuck._ When the hell would he have gotten out?”

“Last night? He was there before we left for the wedding.”

“Fuck. When we were coming in.”

“That’s my guess.”

Taako storms to his room. He catches sight of himself in the mirror and he looks like hell, messy-haired and exhausted, but he’s not about to rest right now. He pulls off Kravitz’s robe and the remains of last night’s outfit, changing quickly into a sweater and a pair of jeans he’s pretty sure he stole from Lup.

Oh, fuck, Lup. Lup is going to be furious with him.

He comes back into the living room. “I’m gonna ask around,” he says. “I’m gonna fucking- I don’t know, go door to door. Are you coming?”

Kravitz nods immediately. “I’m coming,” he says, trying to keep his tone even and reassuring. He slips on a pair of shoes and touches Taako on the shoulder as Taako heads for the door. “We’ll find him,” he says.

“You’re damn fucking right we will,” Taako agrees. He knocks on the Burnsides’s door first. Magnus is a dog person, but they seem to care a lot about animals; and maybe they saw him on their morning walk with Dog Johann or something. It’s Magnus who answers the door.

“Oh, hey, Taako,” he says cheerfully. “What’s up?”

“Have you seen my cat?” Taako asks. He sounds more upset than he wants to, sounds more vulnerable about this. He’s never called Garyl _his_ cat before, he realizes. “Long white fur, black paws, two black spots on his forehead?”

Magnus immediately looks somber, furrowing his brow. “Shit, no, I haven’t. When did he get out?”

“Sometime last night, we think,” Kravitz says.

“I’ll keep an eye out,” Magnus says. “I’ll tell Jules and Carey, too.”

Taako sighs. He hadn’t expected the first door they knocked on to help, but he’d hoped. “Yeah, thanks,” he says moodily, and starts walking away before Magnus even shuts the door.

They try the rest of their floor, apart from the Bradsons, who have left for their honeymoon already. All of them are equally useless, promising Taako that they’ll be on the lookout, that they’ll let him know if they see Garyl. Angus even reaches out and hugs him. It makes Taako’s stomach churn. He’s torn between uncertainty and feeling completely sure that he’ll never see Garyl again. His eyes are burning and his head is pounding as they make their way onto the street to look, calling for the cat every few paces.

He even checks with the couple in the house across the street. One of them, Jenkins, is out working in his tiny garden, and Taako leans over the fence with none of his usual casualness. “Hey, Jenkins. You seen a cat walking around?”

Jenkins sighs heavily, clearly expecting the worst from any interaction with him. “No, Justin, I haven’t.”

“White cat, black paws?”

“No. Please leave.”

Taako frowns. “Fine. Just… let me know.”

Jenkins looks vaguely shaken by Taako not taking the time to insult him, but before he can say anything else Taako and Kravitz are walking away.

“Did he call you Justin?” Kravitz asks.

“It’s a long story,” Taako grumbles.

* * *

They trek halfway across Neverwinter and sink back to their apartment disappointed and catless. Taako has felt on the verge of tears all day. When he falls into the couch he pulls out his stone of far speech looking utterly defeated.

He calls Lup.

“Lulu,” he says, none of his usual bravado in his voice. On the other end of the line, Lup stiffens.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“Listen. Don’t be mad at me. Garyl got out last night.”

“Oh, fuck.”

“I know. I know. We’ve been out looking for him all day.”

“You should have called me earlier, Taako!”

“I know.”

“Fuck, dude.” Lup sighs heavily. “Okay. Me and Barry will spread the word around these parts. We can make posters.”

“Okay. I just wanted to let you know.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Taako hangs up without another word, too exhausted to continue the conversation. He lies flat on his back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Again, Kravitz kneels next to him.

“We’ll find him,” he says soothingly. There’s a quality in Kravitz’s voice that calms Taako. He’s almost frustrated by it now. He doesn’t _want_ to be calm, not when Garyl is out there probably alone and scared and cold and--

Fuck, he doesn’t want to think about it. He doesn’t want to think about how much it reminds him of his and Lup’s childhood. He doesn’t want to think about the fact that the cat has finally started to grow on him and now, just like every time he gets close to someone, he’s gone. It’s stupid to think of this cat the way he’d think about a person. It’s stupid to think that he’d think that way about a person.

It’s stupid, the way it’s making him think about Kravitz.

Kravitz, who’s been so patient and so kind, who’s sitting next to him even right now. Taako wants to scream at him. He’s so stressed, he’s so upset, and his head is killing him.

It wouldn’t be fair.

Taako feels tears start to leak out and sits bolt upright, moving to his room. He slams the door shut behind him.

* * *

Taako wakes up in a cold sweat, mid-yell, with his door open and Kravitz in the doorway. Taako is shaking, his head in his hands on instinct. He doesn’t remember his dream, just that it was cold and empty wherever he was. Just that he was alone, looking for something that he’d forgotten.

Taako is crying.

Kravitz enters the room hesitantly and sits next to Taako on his bed. When Taako doesn’t pull away, Kravitz reaches for him hesitantly, wraps an arm around Taako’s shoulders and pulls him in just so. Taako doesn’t react at first, and the two of them stay perfectly still, but it’s easier, there in the dark than it would be in the light, for Taako to lift his hand to Kravitz’s forearm. It’s easier in the dark than it would be in the light for him to rest his head on Kravitz’s chest. It’s easier here for Taako to cry, when he can pretend Kravitz can’t see it.

(He’s a half-elf. He has darkvision. Even if he didn’t, he’d feel the way Taako shakes, he’d feel the dampness pooling on the front of his robe. But he doesn’t mention it.)

Kravitz softly runs a hand through Taako’s hair. Neither of them say anything as Taako cries. He’s terrified of what this means. This is entirely too much vulnerability for him. But it’s soothing to be held. It’s helping.

Eventually, his breathing slows.

“Can you get back to sleep?” Kravitz asks. Taako nods. “Good night,” Kravitz says, and starts to stand up.

Taako grabs his arm urgently.

“Stay,” he whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit, y'all, this fic is almost done! thank you so much for reading and for your support. not to be too sappy, but this is the first fic of this size that i've ever written, and it means an immeasurable amount to me to get to share it with you and hear your thoughts about it.
> 
> if you're interested, i have a tumblr [@traumataako](traumataako.tumblr.com) where i babble about this au sometimes and take ficlet requests! feel free to shoot me a message!
> 
> again, thanks for reading!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what was lost is found. thank you for reading!

Kravitz wakes up first. He’s a light sleeper. He looks down at Taako, half pressing into his chest and half curled up in the fetal position, and he worries. He’s a worrier, he always has been, and Taako certainly gives him plenty of reason to.

He’s a ridiculous person, thinks Kravitz. He’s flamboyant and eccentric, and he acts like he doesn’t care, but there’s this river of tension in his veins, bubbling just beneath the skin. He’s good at hiding it most of the time, but sometimes he falls apart. Kravitz brushes a strand of Taako’s bleached blonde hair behind his ear. He feels guilty about Garyl, but he can tell Taako feels worse.

The bed isn’t really big enough for both of them, but Kravitz doesn’t dare to move, barely dares to _breathe_ until Taako’s alarm goes off and he wakes up with a quiet groan.

He looks confused, at first, like he doesn’t remember climbing into bed with anyone. Then it dawns on him what happened last night and he sighs. He doesn’t move away, though. He presses his face into Kravitz’s chest, listening to his heartbeat.

“Are you alright?” Kravitz asks softly.

“I’m fine,” Taako says. He sounds exhausted. “I gotta get ready for class.”

* * *

If there’s any indication Taako isn’t feeling well, it’s his outfit. He wears the same jeans as he wore the day before with a light pink t-shirt. He dresses it up as much as he feels able to, with gold jewelry on his neck and fingers, and he puts his hair in a competent chignon, and he wears his velvet boots, but there’s none of his usual pizazz to it. He skips makeup entirely.

The first thing someone says to him at school -- Greg fucking Grimaldis, who lives next door to Lup and Barry and who Taako has heard horror stories about -- is that he looks _tired._ Taako gives him a death glare and tries to move on with his day.

He tries to move on with his life. Taako is the type of elf to jump to conclusions, and after an entire day without Garyl, he’s convinced he’ll never see the cat again. He’s frustrated with himself for being so worked up about it, but that’s how it is. He ghosts through his day, barely pays attention in any of his classes, completely ignores anyone who tries to talk to him. He skips lunch.

He still has a splitting headache, too.

Taako is miserable. He can’t even appreciate that he slept next to Kravitz last night, that Kravitz hadn’t left by the time he woke up. Every time he starts to let his heart lift with that knowledge, he remembers why Kravitz was there. He saw one of Taako’s night terrors. If anything, it’s pity. And details of the nightmare are coming back, too; it was a mix of memory and deep-seated fears from his childhood. He dreamt he was separated from Lup, hungry and frightened and cold, but most of all _alone._

There are a lot of things Taako can handle, but being _alone,_ truly alone, that’s not one of them.

He thinks again about Garyl in the same position and fights tears on his drive home.

He feels his stone of farspeech vibrate as he’s walking up the stairs, but he doesn’t bother to answer it. When he enters, he sees Kravitz, standing with his own stone up to his ear. He looks excited about something, and Taako furrows his brow.

Kravitz hangs up his stone and slips it into his pocket. “Come on,” he says. “Someone found Garyl.”

And in an instant Taako’s heart lifts out of the gutter it’s in. “Are you serious?” he asks. “Because that’s not a very good jo-”

“Come on!” Kravitz says. He walks towards Taako and grabs his hand, tugging him out of the apartment. They make their way down to Kravitz’s car. The two of them don’t talk much on their way to wherever it is they’re going. Taako’s fine with that; he doesn’t want to address what happened last night, and he’s too preoccupied with the thought of getting the cat -- yeah, alright, _his_ cat back. On their way to wherever they’re going, they stop at Fantasy Costco to buy a cat carrier.

Afterwards, they pull into the parking lot of a funeral home.

“What the fuck,” Taako says, but Kravitz takes his hand again and pulls him into the building. Taako becomes worried for a moment, because they _are_ in a funeral home, that the worst has happened. He doesn’t know what the hell he’d do with that information -- he’d almost rather be left in the lurch, he thinks. Maybe it’s better to hope that someone’s still out there to know that they’re dead. When the door closes behind them, Taako hears a voice call from down the hallway.

“Kravitz?” it asks, sweet and low. A woman steps out of the door at the end of the hall, tall and dressed in a tailored black suit. She has high cheekbones and curly hair that’s beginning to gray at the temples. Kravitz drops Taako’s hand quickly and grins sheepishly. She’s already seen it, and she smiles slightly. “And you must be Taako.”

Taako blinks. “Uh. Yeah. What’s good.”

“Taako, this is, uh… my mom,” Kravitz says. The woman smiles. She and Kravitz don’t look much alike, but looking at her, Taako can identify a similar elegant goth sensibility. She approaches them from the other end of the hall and extends her hand to Taako. He takes it to shake, looking slightly befuddled.

“Raven Kravitz,” she says. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, same,” he says. Her hand is soft, but her handshake is firm. “Uh, Kravitz says you found my cat?”

Raven nods. “Yes, of course. This way.” She heads down the hallway and Taako shoots Kravitz a look. He grimaces awkwardly. 

Taako’s fears resolve when, turning a corner, he hears a loud and unmistakable meow. They turn into a kitchen, and looking for the source of the meow, Taako is not at all surprised.

Garyl sits, in all his glory, on top of the fucking fridge.

“You absolute dickhead,” Taako can’t keep himself from saying, rushing over to the fridge. Garyl hops down and onto the counter, immediately pressing his forehead against Taako’s waiting hand. He has the audacity to purr. Taako is so, so fucking glad he’s okay. He turns to look at the Kravitzes. Raven smiles calmly and Kravitz looks almost as relieved as Taako feels.

“Istus found him in the garden this morning,” she says. “When I checked his collar, I recognized the address. She had things to do, so I brought him along to make sure I could get him back to you.”

Taako nods. He doesn’t say _thank you_ often, so he’s putting it off, but he really doesn’t know how to express how thankful he is that Garyl is here and fine and happy. He clears his throat and looks back at Garyl, then back at Raven. He bites the bullet. “Thanks,” he says, willing his voice not to break.

“Of course,” she says. Her voice is low and soothing, much like Kravitz’s. He clearly takes after her.

* * *

Taako doesn’t let go of Garyl in the carrier the entire way back to the apartment. He calls Lup on the way home to let her know that Garyl is fine. She cheers and demands details on Kravitz’s mother, which Taako refuses to supply, opting instead to blow a raspberry into his phone and hang up. He’s not ready to think about that, yet, about that being his first impression on Kravitz’s mother.

He thinks he wants to keep Kravitz around, and he’s _so_ not ready to think about meeting his boyfriend’s parents. Which is presumptuous of him, considering they aren’t really _dating_ yet--

But then, after he sets Garyl’s carrier down and opens the door (the cat immediately scampers into the kitchen to his throne on top of the fridge,) Kravitz reaches out. He wraps his arms around Taako, and Taako looks up at him with raised eyebrows.

They stay like that for a moment, Kravitz just holding him, before he puts his fingertips under Taako’s chin to lift his head, and he kisses him.

It’s better than it was the day they ran lines together. They’re both more prepared this time, and neither of them are about to pretend this is anything other than what it is. Kravitz runs his gentle hand through Taako’s hair and Taako wraps his arms around Kravitz’s shoulders, and everything feels right again.

When they break apart, Taako looks at Kravitz. Really looks at him, dead in the eye, not avoiding anything anymore. He lifts a hand to run over Kravitz’s cheek, thumb brushing over sharp cheekbone. Kravitz blushes faintly. Taako grins.

“Hey, Krav?” he asks.

“Yeah?”

“You’re a nerd, right?”

“Uh, well-”

“What do you say we join Lup and Barold’s DND game?”

Because, Taako thinks, if he can admit that his cat is his cat, if he can admit that he _likes_ Kravitz, maybe Lup’s friends can be his friends, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW!!!! we climbed this whole mountain, y'all!
> 
> as i think i've mentioned a couple of times, this is the first multi-chapter fic i've ever finished, and i'm so thrilled that i get to share it with you. thanks to everyone who's read, who's left kudos, who's left comments, who's reblogged it on tumblr, etc. i'm so thankful that you guys seem to like my goofy writing! did you know this au started because i was in a bad mood and playing the sims with the new pets expansion? the more you know.
> 
> seriously, though. i don't feel proud of myself super often but writing this has made me feel accomplished, and you guys are the reason i finished it. thank you so much.
> 
> if you're interested, hit me up on [my tumblr,](traumataako.tumblr.com) where i take fic requests and am always happy to chat.
> 
> <3


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